My Funny Valentine
by kitten4979
Summary: A response to a one shot challenge on another site. This is for the DM fans out there. Sorry it's a little late...


Valentine's Day at the Montecito was a particularly busy day for Mary Connell. Since returning to the Montecito, she'd been handling both hotel manager and special events coordinator duties. To say that she was stressed and on edge was an understatement. The hotel was booked solid and she still had the massive Valentine's Day wedding for fifty lucky couples to coordinate. To be single on the biggest holiday for couples was wearing on Mary.

Preparing herself for the day from hell, Mary left her suite and walked to the elevators, dressed appropriately in all black for her own anti-Valentine's Day movement. As soon as the doors opened to the casino floor, she was greeted with a devilish grin from the casino host, Sam Marquez.

"Hey," Sam said as she fell into step with Mary as she exited the elevator. "You look great, by the way," Sam commented on the silk empire-waist dress Mary was wearing. "The pleated skirt is very pretty. Did you do something different with your hair?"

"Hey," Mary replied. She knew something was up. Sam was a night owl – her clients gambled into the late hours with her by their side. The fact that Sam was up at eight in the morning, chipper and complimenting Mary to no end, put Mary on the slight defensive. Mary sighed - she hadn't even gotten a cup of coffee yet.

"I got a favor I need to ask you," Sam started.

Mary smiled. She knew it. After working with the petite brunette for three years, Mary had figured out Sam's MO – sweet talk and flattery then going for the kill. And it usually worked.

"What tickets and how many do you need now, Sam?" Mary asked in a fake exasperated tone, shaking her head.

Sam paused. This was going to be the strangest request she ever made to Mary, but it was an integral part of the plan.

"I need your suite," Sam said quickly.

Mary stopped in the middle of the casino floor while Sam kept walking.

"You need _what_?" Mary asked incredulously. She was expecting a request for front row tickets to the Michael Bublé concert that evening, not a request to vacate her suite.

"I need your suite," Sam repeated matter-of-factly as she turned to face Mary.

Mary was seriously beginning to hate this day. She furrowed her brows and frowned at her friend.

"_Why_ do you need _my_ suite?" Mary asked as she approached her friend.

"Besides the fact that there are no other rooms available? I have a whale and his wife coming in last minute and your suite happens to be his lucky suite," Sam answered, lying through her teeth. "Please, Mary? It's just for one night…"

Mary stared incredulously at her friend.

"Are you out of your mind?" Mary asked. "No. No freaking way," she stated as she continued walking towards the ballroom.

Sam quickly glanced up at the security camera before hurrying after Mary.

"Come on… please Mary? It's just one night. And I'll cut you in on twenty percent of my commission tonight," Sam plea bargained.

"Sam, why is it so important to you that you have my suite for the night?" Mary asked, exasperated.

"Because I'm _desperate_, Mare," Sam pleaded. "_PLEASE_… I'm begging you. You will not regret it."

"Make it fifty percent," Mary bargained.

"Thirty."

"Forty."

"Thirty five."

Looking at her friend, Mary sighed, "I'll think about it."

"Great, I'll have you vacated by noon," Sam said in her usual business tone and walked away. She grinned to herself, knowing that there was no whale and his wife to appease.

"Wait – Sam!" Mary called out. But it was too late. The petite brunette was already far from shouting range. Mary stamped her foot in frustration and continued her way to the ballroom.

Meanwhile, once safely away from Mary's hearing distance, Sam flipped open her cell phone. "We're in business. Everything is going as planned," she said as she gave a thumbs to a security camera.

---

Jake had entered Mary's life this time last year. He had sent her an extravagant necklace as her secret admirer. Her feelings were still raw since she had just given back the ring that she had always dreamed of to the boy she had always loved. She had secretly hoped that the necklace was from that boy. But he admitted that it wasn't when she asked him, leaving her to feel like a fool.

She finally met her secret admirer and they started dating. He was the opposite of the boy she had always loved. He was blond, rich and openly adored her. He showered her with attention… at first. Like most new relationships, it was a storybook romance in the beginning. Mary felt like a princess. She felt appreciated. She felt cherished. She felt loved.

Mary left for Hawaii with Jake the night Larry McCoy died. Her best friend, Danny, wanted and needed her that night, but he was too proud to say it. He was sure that he had lost his best friend a long time ago – when she returned the engagement ring to him. A rift between the two began that night and grew wider with every passing day. And neither one of them knew what to do about it. So they suffered silently and watched as their once close bond disintegrated.

Mary moved into her dream house with a white picket fence with Jake and left her job at the Montecito. Mary was living her dream life. But not with her dream boy. But she had convinced herself long ago that she never would. So she determinedly moved on with Jake. And she thought that she was happy.

But thoughts of Danny had always festered in her head and heart. With Jake constantly working late and her without a job, the thoughts eventually consumed her. She gratefully accepted Ed's job offer to return to the Montecito, much to Jake's dismay. Jake couldn't stand that she was working in close proximity to Danny. He was jealous of Danny. Jake knew that he would never be the one that Mary truly wanted as long as Danny was still in her life.

Then one day, Jake arrived to the Montecito with a dozen roses and a ring. He asked Mary to marry him. She said "no." Danny had offered to let her stay at his place while she got back on her feet again, but she was turning into a new Mary by then. She also said "no" to him.

As she lay in bed alone at night, she cursed herself for turning down Danny's proposition to stay with him. But then she would ration to herself that he had asked just to be polite. He was just making a friendly gesture. He didn't love her the way she loved him. And she decided that he never would, either.

---

Standing in the middle of the ballroom, Mary began grumbling to herself. Where in the world was she supposed to spend the night tonight? And what was Sam going to do with her belongings? Mary was becoming increasingly frustrated and it was only nine thirty in the morning.

Taking a break from coordinating the reception for the Valentine's Day wedding at Mystique, Delinda Deline breezed into the half decorated ballroom.

"Morning, Mare," she greeted.

"Hey, sweetie," Mary forced out a smile as she struggled with a tangled string of lights.

"Are you okay?" Delinda asked as she reached for the wad.

"Uh… no… not really?" Mary said, conceding defeat.

"What's the matter?" Delinda asked as she started unraveling the ball.

"Um… Delinda, do you have any plans for tonight?" Mary probed as she reached for another tangle of lights. "Sam is evicting me from my suite for the night because of some whale and I just need a place to sleep."

"Oh… I'm sorry, but yea… I do have plans," Delinda replied. "I got a hot date tonight."

Technically, Delinda wasn't lying to her. Delinda was going to go on a date tonight, she just hadn't decided with whom yet.

Mary gave her friend a wan smile. "That's okay. Thanks, anyway."

"No problem," Delinda said. "Do you need some more help in here?" she asked switching gears quickly.

"Yea, I do," Mary said, relieved. "I really hate this holiday now and could really use some help with these decorations. I have so much to do today."

As Mary turned her back, Delinda gave a subtle thumb up and winked at the surveillance camera.

"I'm here to help. Let's get this room decorated then," Delinda said.

---

Mike Cannon sat at his desk, growing increasingly excited as he thought of the recent events that had unfolded before his eyes on the monitor in front of him. Since Sam had convinced Mary that she needed her suite, he'd been watching Mary become more and more agitated, throwing decorations around and eating what looked to be an entire box of chocolates by herself before Delinda showed up. Everything was going to plan; now it was up to his friend Danny to finish the job.

Mike knew that Danny hadn't had a real relationship since Mary. Jenny lasted a little while, until Danny's father died. Then there was the little scam artist Penny. Mike knew that deep down; Danny compared every woman he met to Mary – that's why none of Danny's relationships ever lasted. Mike looked over at Danny, who was sitting next to him, diligently working.

"Man, why do you look like death today? You look like the Grim Reaper," Mike noted about Danny's black on black striped shirt, black tie, suit, socks and shoes. If Mike was still a betting man, he would bet that Danny's underwear was probably black as well.

Danny turned to his friend, "And why do you have a problem with that? I hate this holiday."

"I don't. I'm just curious, that's all," Mike replied. "Why are you so anti-Valentine's Day yet you're trying to do something romantic on Valentine's Day?" Mike queried.

Danny grimaced. He had like Valentine's Day just fine until last year – when Jake weaseled his way into Mary's life. Danny never could find the words to express his feelings for his childhood friend. He berated himself daily for letting her return the ring and not going after her. He told himself that she deserved better than him and watched in agony as he let her slip farther and farther away and into Jake's arms.

But now that Jake was out of the picture, Mary and Danny's relationship was shifting once again. There was still awkwardness between them, but Danny was just grateful that he could talk to his best friend again. He had missed spending time with her.

Their renewed friendship gave Danny hope that he had not lost her completely. Deciding it was time to make a move, Danny enlisted the help of his friends so he would have the opportunity to show Mary how much she meant to him on Valentine's Day.

"I just don't like it, okay? And not question my motives. How are we on our plan?"

"All right, man… no offense," Mike said, shaking his head. "Clearly, you have some issues that you need to deal with though."

Danny turned and glared at his friend as Mike checked his watch. Maybe if everything went to plan tonight, he would like Valentine's Day again.

"Mary is agitated as hell and we got a thumbs up from both Sam and Delinda," Mike reported. "And Cupid should be entering the ballroom just about… now."

---

"Are you Mary Connell?" Cupid asked her.

Mary stood in the middle of the ballroom, now fully decorated thanks to Delinda's help, clutching her clipboard to her chest.

"Uh… yes?" she admitted, silently cursing to herself for being alone in this room with a man dressed as Cupid.

Cupid cleared his throat and began to sing "My Funny Valentine"

_My funny valentine  
Sweet comic valentine  
You make me smile with my heart  
Your looks are laughable  
Unphotographable  
Yet you're my favorite work of art_

Is your figure less than Greek  
Is your mouth a little weak  
When you open it to speak  
Are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me  
Not if you care for me  
Stay little valentine stay  
Each day is valentine's day

Is your figure less than Greek  
Is your mouth a little weak  
When you open it to speak  
Are you smart?

But don't you change one hair for me  
Not if you care for me  
Stay little valentine stay  
Each day is valentine's day

Danny skidded into the room as Cupid was handing Mary a single red rose. Composing himself, Danny walked up to where Mary and Cupid were standing.

"Have a good day," Cupid said, bowing to Mary and kissing her hand before leaving.

"So… another secret admirer?" Danny asked lightly. Inside, his stomach was turning in knots. Since when did he get nervous talking to his once-best friend?

"Uh… apparently so," Mary answered as she sniffed the fragrant rose. Was she foolish to hope that it really was Danny this time? Mary pushed the thought out of her mind. "What are you doing in here?" she asked Danny.

"Uh… Mike and I were on our way to lunch," Danny fumbled, obviously lying. "Do you want to join us?"

"Oh God, what time is it?" Mary asked as she checked her watch. "I have so much to do and I lost track of time. The wedding is supposed to start at three and I still have to coordinate the concert tonight…"

Danny smiled as he watched her grow increasingly flustered. He put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the door. "Come on," he said as he kissed her temple. "Have lunch with us."

Mary felt herself relax as Danny's lips made contact with her skin. He had always had that effect on her. She sighed; it had been a long time since he used this gesture with her.

"Okay," she smiled. "Let's go."

---

Mike had conveniently "disappeared" for lunch, leaving Danny and Mary sitting at a table for two alone at Günter's. Little did they know that upstairs, Mike, Delinda and Sam were anxiously watching them on Mike's monitor.

"So, how is your day going?" Danny asked as he spread the napkin on his lap. He was trying to act nonchalant, but he was a bundle of nerves on the inside anticipating what he was about to hear.

Mary frowned and took a sip of water.

"It's a crappy day, Danny," she admitted. "Being the hotel manger/special events coordinator is really wearing on me today. All I want to do after this wedding and this concert is over is go back to my suite and relax. But I can't because Sam has evicted me from my suite for the night because of some whale and his wife."

Danny had expected this answer. But what Mary said next made Danny choke on the water he was sipping.

"I hate this stupid holiday."

Since when did his sweet, romantic Mary hate Valentine's Day?

"You can stay at my place tonight," Danny offered once he regained his composure.

Mary gave Danny a half-smile. "No, I'd hate to cramp you and your date," Mary said as she reached for her menu. There was no way Danny could possibly be spending this evening without a date, Mary thought.

Danny leaned over and reached across the table, pulling her menu down so he could look into her eyes. "I'm serious, Mary. You can stay at my place tonight. I don't have any plans. We can do an Anti-Valentine's Day movie night," he said.

Mary looked at Danny questioningly. She found it very hard to believe that he was going to spend Valentine's Day alone.

"Okay," she agreed. "I'd really like that."

Danny felt the knot in his stomach release a little. "Good. It's agreed then. I'll meet you at my house at nine tonight," he said confidently as leaned back and he picked up his menu. Danny smiled to himself; maybe Valentine's Day wasn't so bad after all.

---

Mary nervously pushed a stray tendril behind her ear. The wedding and the concert had left her completely wiped out, but the thought of spending an evening with Danny kept her going. She took a deep breath and knocked on his door. Danny answered with his work shirt untucked with his top few buttons undone.

"Aren't we a vision of Anti-Valentine's Day?" Mary laughed, noticing that they were both still wearing black head to toe.

Danny grinned. "Yea, well, you're not the only one who dislikes this holiday. Did you bring the movie?" he asked as he ushered her in, taking her overnight bag.

"Yes, I did," Mary said as she held up a small plastic bag. "'28 Days Later…' right?"

"Perfect. Something completely the opposite of Valentine's Day."

"Danny McCoy," Mary said sternly as she removed her coat. "Do you realize that I will be spending most of this night curled up in a ball on your couch scared to death?"

"Don't worry; I'll be here to protect you."

Mary frowned at him as she crossed her arms.

"Do you want a beer?" Danny asked her as he opened his refrigerator.

"Sounds perfect," Mary said as she plopped down onto Danny's couch.

"Do you want to change into something more comfortable before we start the movie?" Danny asked as he handed Mary her beer.

"Yea… if you don't mind," Mary said as she gratefully took the beer from Danny's hand and sauntered into his bedroom to change.

"I ordered Chinese tonight," Danny yelled down the hall to Mary as he paid the delivery man.

"Sounds great," Mary said as she returned to the living room, looking completely at ease wearing his USMC sweatshirt and a pair of boxer shorts. "I'm starving."

---

"I can't believe I agreed to watch this," Mary declared as she hid her face in Danny's chest.

Danny laughed, "You were the one at the video store. You could have gotten any movie you wanted."

"Yea, right," Mary mumbled before burying her face again.

In truth, Danny was ecstatic that she actually got the movie he had requested. Fifteen minutes into the movie, she was coiled tightly into a ball – her body pressed against Danny. Her head was firmly planted into either his chest or shoulder through most of the movie. He felt like he was in high school again when he nonchalantly stretched so he could put his arm around her. Danny was disappointed when the movie ended.

"All right, sparky. Where am I sleeping tonight?" Mary asked as she uncoiled herself while Danny got up to put the DVD back in its case.

"In my bed with me," Danny said without thinking.

Realizing that he had just said his thought aloud, he stopped mid-step to the TV and froze. Danny felt his stomach drop, he was afraid to see Mary's reaction. He hung his head as he slowly turned to face Mary, still sitting on the couch with a look of shock and confusion on her face. Danny gave her a wan smile.

"Mary, I have confession," Danny started.

Mary continued to stare at him. Her heart was racing, her mind on overdrive. But she couldn't open her mouth to speak. She realized that she wasn't breathing until Danny was kneeling in front of her.

"I was the one who had you evicted from your suite tonight. I told Sam to make up some story about a whale wanting his lucky suite so he could spend Valentine's Day in Vegas with his wife. I told Delinda to make sure that you couldn't stay with her tonight and that you would have to stay with me. I just wanted to spend Valentine's Day with you. Mary, I want to spend every day with you. I want you here. With me. Tonight. Forever. I want us to be together again. I love you, Mary Connell."

Mary was touched by Danny's heartfelt confession, but was still dumbfounded.

"Okay, I'm sorry the Cupid thing was a little lame. Kind of cheesy, I know," Danny admitted, making Mary smile slightly. "But I don't know how else to show you that I love you and want you in my life always. It killed me to see you with Jake."

"But you never said anything," Mary whispered.

"Because I wanted you to be happy - even if it wasn't with me. I've always wanted you to be happy. You are the most important person in my life. You always have been and you always will be. That's how much I care and love you, Mary. I know that I've hurt you too much in the past." Cupping her face, he forced her to look him in the eye. He saw the tears starting to brim in her eyes. "And I'm sorry I did all those awful things to you. I know that there's nothing I can do to change that. But I'm going to win you back, Mary," he declared to her before kissing her softly on her lips. "Tonight's just the beginning."


End file.
